C’mon, you know you’re special. Just look at you – you’re reading a Web site. That means 1) you’re probably from the First World (as opposed to the Third World, where there’s limited Internet access), and 2) You can read. So of all the people who have ever lived, you are clearly in the upper, oh, five percent in terms of education, wealth and privilege.

To complete the picture: you probably have a busy schedule (don’t worry, I won’t keep you long), you’re probably the kind of person who can pick up a cellphone and call anywhere – at any moment – and you most likely have a warm credit card in your wallet or purse.

Damn, you’re lucky. You probably get invited to parties. You probably know who Britney Spears is (okay, so that’ s not fortunate). You are inarguably one of the Lucky People.

So go on now, with your bad self, just go on. But come on back, would you? Just having your type around is pretty thrilling. You are highly desirable…